You’re not alone.Emma’s diary (18+) →

Before you go…

Emma’s diary is where I let my other self out. It’s explicit, AI-made art of Emma, the trans girl I imagine being, a fictional adult.

It’s my way of expressing that part of me instead of hiding it. Made with love, and very much 18+ only.

If you’re trying to take a break from this kind of content right now, it’s completely okay to stay with the story ♡

I’m 18+, take me to her ♡

Epilogue · Who to talk to

Who can I talk to about a sexual fantasy I can’t tell anyone?

By the creator · a true story

Short answer

Who can I talk to about a fantasy I’m ashamed of?

A sex therapist or sexologist is the best place to start: it’s their job and nothing will shock them. Many work online. If you’re in crisis, reach a crisis line today.

Previously: the gym, building things I love, and finally accepting myself. Start from the beginning

“The loneliest part was never the fantasy. It was having nobody to say it to.”

If you’re there right now, carrying this alone, here are places that won’t judge you.

Professionals

  • A sex therapist or sexologist: this is literally their job, and nothing you say will shock them.
  • A therapist trained in CBT or ACT, if the hours lost feel out of control.

Many offer online sessions, so you can talk from your own room.

Communities

Be careful with Reddit and forums. Everyone there has their own bias, they don’t know your full story, and they don’t always want what’s good for you. Some will tell you you’re definitely trans, others that you’re broken. Neither knows you.

You have so many things to make and enjoy in life. Don’t beat yourself up. Stand up like a king and go get it.

If it’s really dark right now

If you’re thinking about hurting yourself, please talk to someone today. In the US, call or text 988. In the UK and Ireland, call Samaritans on 116 123. Anywhere else, findahelpline.com lists free, confidential lines in your country.

To my younger self

“Move your fucking ass. Work on something great. This is NOT meant to be the battle of your life. Work out, improve, work on things you love, find love. And even if it stays as a fantasy, it’s okay.”

A last word

If today it feels impossible to get past this, I know. I was there for more than ten years.

But one day it won’t feel like that anymore. Not because you won some huge war, but because your life got bigger than it.

This is not meant to be the biggest battle of your life. It’s a bump on the road. Your real life is everything else, and it’s waiting for you.

If this is you

More questions

Is there help if I feel out of control?
Yes. Therapists trained in CBT or ACT help when urges take too much of your time. You don’t need to wait until it’s “bad enough”.

You’re not alone either

Share your story, anonymously. Every comment is read before it appears, so this stays a kind place.

  1. No comments yet. You could be the first person to say “me too”.

Don’t share your real name, contact details or anything that identifies you. Comments about minors, hate or explicit content are never published.

Written from personal experience, not medical advice. If you’re struggling, a qualified professional can help.

Write to the creator

Private and anonymous. Only the creator can read this. Leave a contact only if you’d like a reply.